Coping
by Janie3
Summary: (UPDATED!) When we last saw them, they had defeated evil once again. But now they must face the strongest adversary. Only this time it’s not a matter of good or evil. It’s just a matter of life… or death.
1. Read Me

Author's Notes  
  
Title: Coping  
  
Summary: When we last saw them, they had defeated evil once again. But now they must face the strongest adversary. Only this time it's not a matter of good or evil. It's just a matter of life… or death.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Warning: Sexual content, violence, sexual abuse, swearing  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Vampire Diaries. They belong to LJ Smith and other companies.  
  
This is a serious story with no supernatural evil. The only supernatural thing about it is that there are vampires (Stefan, Damon) and a druid (Bonnie).  
  
We are tying up the loose ends at the end of Vampire Diaries IV.  
  
Feedback is a _ MUST _. Read and reply. We need motivation!  
  
Janie: SwtAzSugar46@aol.com  
  
Nyx: bunny@giantpurplebunnyrabbit.com (www.giantpurplebunnyrabbit.com)  
  
If you e-mail us, please be polite. You can flame, but do so nicely. Thanks!  
  
~Janie and Nyx 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
Stefan's green eyes slowly fluttered open, taking in rays of sunlight filtering in from between the drapes. His sensuous lips curved into a smile as his fingers stroked the blond tresses that cascaded across his bare chest. Wisps of ebony strands of hair fell into his eyes. He blinked and turned his attention to the sleeping form beside him. The thin sheets did nothing to hide her bare curves and creamy soft skin. His green eyes turned emerald as he recalled the events of the previous night. Knowing that Elena had not slept much that night, he decided against waking her.  
  
As gently as he could, Stefan slipped out of Elena's embrace and slipped on a loose pair of boxer shorts. He pushed the thick drapes aside and looked out at the world.  
  
It all seemed so unreal to him. Elena was back, and Klaus was dead. Damon and he were even on better terms, though Stefan was bewildered as to where his brother was now.  
  
They had all collapsed under the rain after dancing for hours. Then, Stefan had gotten his car and belongings, and taken Elena out of town. Once they'd settled in the hotel, he'd called Matt to let him know where they were. Then Stefan had proceeded to make thorough and passionate love to Elena.  
  
He turned to gaze back at her momentarily, and it was evident to Stefan once more that she was human again. He wondered how she could be human when she'd died as a vampire. But then again she had somehow miraculously come back. Perhaps some higher power had wanted her to be able to choose to be a vampire, a luxury that Stefan and Damon had taken from her.  
  
There was a soft sigh from the bed as Elena woke up. Stefan smiled at the sleepy, rather dazed expression on her face. She smiled back at Stefan when she saw him. Elena sighed and sat up, the sheet falling into her lap. She blushed a bright red, and Stefan chuckled.  
  
"How do you feel?" Stefan asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Alive," she replied, her blue eyes revealing her joy.  
  
He drew her to him again, wrapping his arms around her and holding her closely. Stefan savored the feeling of being able to have her in his arms. This time for good. Elena dropped her head onto his shoulder, sighing contentedly, blond hair spilling down his back.  
  
_ I never want this feeling to go away, _ Stefan thought as he pulled her in for another kiss.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The club was dark, and the strobe lights created an eerie effect. The short blond danced besides him, pressing her body against his own. Her dress was short and skimpy, allowing him to see more than he had hoped for when he'd arrived. He had no problem staring at the pale skin, and he could feel that familiar feeling in his chest.  
  
Damon Salvatore was certainly the most handsome guy in the club, and he had no trouble finding a female to suit his need.  
  
He brushed a strand of black hair out of his eye, flashing a grin at his companion. She giggled, and Damon thought of the girls he had left in Fell's Church, Virginia, almost 12 hours ago.  
  
He forced those thoughts aside, focusing completely on the blond beside him. He could not remember her name; perhaps he hadn't even asked for it. Studying the blond hair, a memory floated to the surface of his mind.  
  
_ "The hair was all right, but her eyes were the wrong color. Elena's eyes were blue." _  
  
Stefan's words echoed through Damon's mind, and he was momentarily disgusted with himself. He was replacing Elena with a look-alike. How pathetic was he? Damon immediately abandoned the blond, searching for another partner. He could hear the girl's insulted swears, but he ignored them.  
  
There was a brunette at the bar that caught his eye. He walked up to her and ordered a Bloody Mary; his drink of choice.  
  
"What's your name?" he asked, waiting patiently for the bartender to give him his drink.  
  
"Dana. You?" Dana smiled at him, and Damon saw the innocence in her eyes.  
  
A pang of guilt mixed with sadness came over him. No matter what he did, it wouldn't work. She wasn't Elena.  
  
"No one special," he said, and he walked away.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
1.1.1 End Chapter 1  
  
1.2 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Elena paid the bell-boy a generous tip and shut the door. Pausing, she wondered for what seemed the tenth time today whether or not to confront Stefan. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she pushed the cart of food that she'd ordered for her dinner to the polished table in the room. Elena placed a plate of Cesar Salad on the table.  
  
"Stefan!" she called.  
  
The bathroom door opened and Stefan walked out, a white towel wrapped around his waist, beads of water dripping off his well-toned chest. Elena could not get over how hot Stefan was. If he was drop-dead gorgeous fully- clothed, he was deadly when he had no shirt on. And last night…  
  
For a moment she felt like she was back in high school, but then she shook her head and said with mock cheerfulness, "Dinner is served."  
  
Stefan paused in getting dressed as he caught a hint of tension in her voice. He moved to the table and sat, keeping his gaze on her as she sat down.  
  
Elena felt awkward. She was the only one eating. She nibbled on her salad for a few minutes before putting her fork down. It was no use beating around the bush.  
  
Stefan finally said something. "What's wrong?"  
  
Elena almost melted. Why did he have to sound so caring? So worried? So-so… perfect? She didn't want to upset him, but she needed to talk about this.  
  
"Stefan… I…" She realized how pathetic she sounded. She cleared her head. This was Stefan. He would understand. "Stefan, we all know that I'm human again. And… well, there's no reason for me to stay this way. I can't go back to my family; they think I'm dead. No, they _ know _ I'm dead. And what about us? It wouldn't work. I'm mortal; you're not. I highly doubt you want to watch me die."  
  
Stefan's eyes darkened for a moment before returning to their normal shade of green. Elena laughed mentally; normal was a word that didn't apply to Stefan.  
  
"Elena, think about it for a few years before making this decision. This is a permanent thing," Stefan warned.  
  
Elena snapped bitterly, "What? And lose these good looks? I don't think so."  
  
Stefan didn't laugh; she hadn't expected him to. His eyes just turned a dark shade of green. Elena could always tell what Stefan was feeling by his eyes. They darkened with his emotions.  
  
"Elena, I won't take something sacred from you."  
  
"What about me is sacred?"  
  
Stefan sighed and looked away. "Your life."  
  
Elena closed her eyes; she hadn't been back a day and already things were going downhill.  
  
"Stefan, please. Be reasonable. I'm _ human _. You're a _ vampire _. How would you like explaining to people that you're in love with a woman who looks 60 years older than you?" Elena tried to explain without getting upset, but it was too hard.  
  
"Elena, no. It's too soon. I remember how things were when you first became a vampire. You were devastated. I won't do it," Stefan replied.  
  
There was suddenly only one thought going through Elena's mind: _ But I know someone else who will. _  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Damon thrust his fist through the window of the car, the glass shattering. He kept walking, ignoring the annoying car alarm.  
  
_ Damn, that felt good, _ Damon thought. Destroying things that didn't belong to him always relieved stress. He could hear the car's owner yelling profanity as he examined the damage, but Damon was already out of sight.  
  
Damon's form shifted, and soon he was soaring above the tree tops as a crow. He dropped his mental shields, opening himself to the world.  
  
He could hear the mental thoughts of others. _ "That slut slept with my boyfriend!" "God, she's a babe!" "Hmm… what flavor did she like? Cherry... Vanilla… Oh… Chocolate…" " I waaant candy…" "C'mon, Damon, I know you're out there…" "Damn, there's no more toilet paper!" _  
  
_ Wait a minute! _ Damon thought. _ Elena? _  
  
_ I knew you were out there! _ Elena's voice rang in Damon's mind. _ Where are you? _  
  
_ New York… why? _  
  
_ Um… long story. Can you meet me in the cemetery in Fell's Church? _  
  
Damon was surprised. _ Why would you want to go back to that hell hole? _  
  
_ Just shut up. I need to talk to you, and it's important! Can you make it? _  
  
_ I'll try to squeeze you in between my photo shoot and my— _  
  
Damon smiled as Elena cut him off from her thoughts. He turned and headed for Fell's Church.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"It's just so…" Bonnie drifted off.  
  
"Yeah, I know. It's hard to find the right word," replied Matt. "But she's back."  
  
Bonnie bounced slightly on the bed. "I'm so glad for Stefan," she said softly. "He was lost without her."  
  
"I know…" Matt had come to face that they belonged together and he no longer felt dead without her. He ran a hand through his blond hair.  
  
Bonnie, as though reading his thoughts, stated, "Maybe they're not the only ones who belong together…"  
  
Matt smiled. Maybe they weren't.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Elena ran her hand over the engraved letters on her parents' tombstone. She traced the "G" with her index finger, trying hard not to notice the smaller gravestone next to it. She knew it would say "Elena Gilbert," and that was the last thing she wanted to see right now.  
  
She'd been kneeling in front of the tomb for an hour now, lost in memories from the past. Elena debated just leaving, but she had a feeling he'd show up sometime.  
  
As if on cue, she felt a hand brush through her hair, and she knew it wasn't Tyler Smallwood, out for an evening stroll. Elena didn't impulsively stiffen as she used to. Kissing her fingers, she lightly touched them to the tombstone and placed the single white rose on top of it. Then, she turned to face Damon.  
  
"So you finally decided to show up."  
  
Rather than reply, Damon flashed a cocky grin.  
  
She briefly wondered if Satan wore leather pants.  
  
"Baggy leather pants?" Elena asked, eying Damon's attire.  
  
He shrugged. "I told you I had a photo shoot." He raised a brow. "So why did you ask me to meet you in this rat trap?"  
  
Elena sighed. "I'm human."  
  
"It's so nice that you finally figured that out."  
  
"I don't want to be," she added.  
  
Damon nodded and said, "And my righteous brother refused to change you. I'm not surprised. So what does it have to do with me?"  
  
"Well I could only think of one other person to do it for me."  
  
Damon cocked an eyebrow. "What's in it for me?"  
  
Elena tossed her hair over her shoulder, pulling the collar of her shirt away from her pale neck. Damon's eyes lingered there before returning to her eyes. "Is that good enough?" she asked.  
  
He nodded and Elena stepped forward. She tilted her head to the side, and Damon pushed the hair off of her neck. She felt his arm slip behind her head, and the other rested on her back. Elena put her own arms around his neck. He bent his head and Elena closed her eyes. His lips brushed against her neck softly, lingering there a moment before there was a sting as his teeth grazed her skin.  
  
_ This is it. _  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
End Chapter 2  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Don't ask about the leather pants. One minute Janie says that LJ Smith usually describes Damon's smile as "wolfish" and the next I'm thinking Satan in leather pants. (??) But… Damon in leather… Yum!  
  
What will happen next? What will Stefan think? No one knows… not even us!  
  
1.1 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
Elena wished desperately that Stefan hadn't _ actually _ asked _ that _. She took off her coat and put it in the closet. Why was life so complicated?  
  
She walked into the bedroom and stood in the doorway. She knew that Stefan would notice the change in her.  
  
His green eyes widened with shock. Elena noticed the pain flash through the now dark emerald eyes. Stefan's eyes slid closed, and he took a deep, shaky breath. Elena prayed that she hadn't made a big mistake.  
  
"Why?" Stefan was angry. That much was clear. But Elena could sense the pain in his voice, and she felt guilt building up inside.  
  
"Stefan, don't you get it? If I had stayed human, eventually I'd grow old while you stayed young. I did it for us." Elena pleaded. She went on before he could interrupt. "I can't go back home; I'll never see my family again either. I love you Stefan, and I want us to be together _ forever _ this time. I don't want anything to come between us, especially death." Elena sighed, adding, "We've had enough of that all ready."  
  
Stefan was completely focused on her, eyes riveted with attention. He didn't speak and Elena took it as an invitation to go on.  
  
"Since you wouldn't do it, I arranged a meeting in the graveyard back in Fells Church with Damon." She swallowed thickly. "But—"  
  
Stefan's eyes flashed with anger. " _Damon?! _"  
  
"He was the only other person who could do it."  
  
"So you went behind my back to my _brother! _ My _ brother! _" Stefan was infuriated, and she could see his hands clenched into fists. She wasn't afraid for herself— Stefan would never hurt her— but she was afraid for Stefan— and the window.  
  
"Please, Stefan, just calm down!"  
  
Abruptly, he got up, a scowl distorting his handsome features.  
  
"What the _ hell _ were you thinking?! Do you really want Damon back in our lives?"  
  
Elena's anger had reached its peak. "Would it be so horrible if I said yes?" she shouted.  
  
Elena realized what she had done as the door slammed behind Stefan.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
As much as Stefan hated using humans as food, he had no choice. He made it easy on the man, and he laid him gently on a bench. Then, he shifted into the form of a falcon, flying towards the presence of his brother.  
  
Finally, after ten minutes of flying, Stefan spotted a Ferrari cruising down a dirt path. _ Good, no one else will see… _ Stefan could tell that his brother was driving; the car was going at least 100 miles an hour.  
  
Stefan dove down, gaining momentum. He didn't stop as he neared the passenger window of the black car. In fact, he used his beak to smash straight through it. As he flew up, he could hear Damon swearing continuously as the car screeched to a halt. Even as a bird, Stefan could smell the burning rubber.  
  
He saw Damon get out of the car. He wasn't surprised when Damon began shifting forms, but he was surprised by the form his brother chose.  
  
A slick, black wolf growled viciously as Stefan perched on a branch.  
  
_ Come down, brother; I won't bite… _ Damon's voice dripped sarcasm as the wolf grinned. Stefan knew it was a grin; it was too Damon not to be.  
  
_ I suppose this is about my little… rendezvous with Elena. _  
  
Stefan shifted into his human form, squatting on a branch just beyond his brother's reach.  
  
_ Big mistake, _ Damon told him, lunging at him. Stefan's eyes widened as Damon shifted from wolf to crow mid-jump.  
  
Stefan ducked out of the way just in time, avoiding having his eyes pecked out.  
  
Damon dove to the ground, but when he landed, he was a man again.  
  
"I suppose you want me to know how much you hate me, right?" Damon asked.  
  
"Just how long with it take you to get over the fact that she chose _ me _ over you? She's _ mine, _ Damon; my girl."  
  
Damon slammed Stefan into a tree, holding him in place by the throat. "Then tell me, little brother; what's so bad about having her for eternity?"  
  
Stefan's eyes were confused. "What?"  
  
"Damn it, you're an idiot! You have her forever now! Till the day you die, she'll be with you! I did you a favor! Damn you and your bad feelings! If you hadn't changed her and kept her with you, I would have!" Damon yelled.  
  
Realization hit and suddenly Stefan knew his brother was right. He'd never really had a _ reason _ for not changing Elena. He'd hated himself for being a vampire for so long that the thought of Elena going through the same thing was enough reason for him.  
  
Damon, seeing that he'd made his point, released Stefan and walked back to the car. He sat on the hood, staring at the night sky.  
  
Stefan felt awkward; what was he supposed to say now?  
  
"I don't love her, you idiot."  
  
Stefan looked at Damon, bewildered and doubtful.  
  
"I don't." Damon's voice was hard and emotionless.  
  
"Then explain your fixation with her," Stefan said, but it was more of a request than a command.  
  
"Damn it, Stefan, you've got even less of a brain than I thought. I do love her, but in a different way than you. Yeah, I love her, and if you weren't in the picture I'd have her. But it's not what she wants, or what you want for that matter. And I know when I'm kidding myself. She sees more in you than she does in me. And I accept that. Yeah, it hurts, but I'm a survivor; I'll get over her. You wouldn't. I'm gonna stop terrorizing the two of you for all our sakes."  
  
Stefan was surprised by the amount of emotion Damon was revealing. But he still had unanswered questions.  
  
"Why do you hate me so much?" Stefan asked. He was somewhat afraid of what the answer might be.  
  
Damon sighed and said, "Too many reasons. But it isn't _ hate. _ Yeah, for a while I blamed you for our mother's death. But I got over that. Then there was Katherine. I didn't _ love _ her; I wanted her to ruin your life. You had our father's love _ and _ respect. Besides, it's the whole sibling thing. I want to kill you, but at the same time I want to protect you; like when Klaus beat the cr*p out of you. I, however, am sadistic, so it went one step further."  
  
Stefan nodded. Knowing Damon, it was all true.  
  
Damon got in the car, and Stefan knew that their "fight" was over.  
  
"Thanks for trashing my car. By the way, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, there'll be hell to pay."  
  
Stefan smiled as Damon drove away.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
End Chapter 3.  
  
1.1 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Stefan slipped his jacket off, laying it on the couch. He could sense Elena in the bedroom, sleeping soundly. He silently stepped into the room.  
  
A stab of guilt shot through Stefan as he saw the dried trails of salty tears on Elena's pale cheeks. Just knowing that he'd been the cause of her pain made Stefan hate himself.  
  
Stefan slipped off his shirt and shoes, sliding into bed besides Elena only when he was dressed waist down. He gently pulled Elena into his embrace, savoring the soft sigh that escaped her pink lips.  
  
"Stefan…" Elena mumbled. He buried his face in her long blond tendrils, inhaling her scent deeply.  
  
"God, Elena… I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry," he mumbled into her hair, praying that she could hear him.  
  
Elena silently slipped her arms around Stefan, squeezing gently. "I know, Stefan," she whispered, "I know."  
  
They said no more that night. They simply fell asleep in one another's arms, contemplating their future together.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"What are we doing here, Alaric?"  
  
Meredith tried to adjust her eyes to the sudden darkness of Alaric's apartment. She tried to see his face, but she could only make out a silhouette.  
  
"Just follow me," Alaric replied, grabbing hold of her hand, and started forward.  
  
Meredith sighed and did as he said. She was shocked when the lights suddenly came on. They were dimmed, but they were bright in comparison to the previous lighting. What shocked her more was the room.  
  
Tall, thin, white candles graced the room, giving a soft, glowing light. White rose petals scattered the wood floor, and a bottle of champagne sat on the table with two glasses. Meredith wanted to cry. She turned to Alaric, forcing the tears back.  
  
"W-what is all of this?" Meredith asked. Her voice was quiet.  
  
"I wasn't sure if it was too much. And I know you're technically too young to really drink, but a little champagne never hurt anyone. I… I just wanted tonight to be special," Alaric said, his voice just as soft as Meredith's.  
  
"Why? What's tonight?" Meredith inquired. It wasn't their anniversary. And it wasn't either of their birthdays. She racked her brain for an importance.  
  
"You'll see," Alaric replied, his voice trying to hide his mischievousness. "I know I'm not a very good cook, but I'm fairly proud of dinner."  
  
Alaric brought out two plates of steak, and they sat at the dining room table, eating quietly. Meredith didn't know what to do or say.  
  
The meal was delicious, and all throughout dinner Alaric smiled. Soft, romantic music played from the stereo, so quietly that it was practically not there at all.  
  
After clearing the table, Alaric handed Meredith a single, red rose.  
  
"Alaric, what's going on?" Meredith asked.  
  
"Look at the rose. Isn't it pretty?" Alaric asked.  
  
Meredith sighed and studied the rose. Its petals were a deep, dark red, and the stem had thorns. And—  
  
Meredith gasped. Resting on the thorns was a ring. A single gold ring, with a small but beautiful heart-shaped diamond in the center. Meredith felt more tears welling up, and this time they spilled.  
  
"Alaric, what is this?" Meredith's voice cracked and trembled.  
  
"Meredith, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"  
  
Meredith closed her eyes as Alaric slipped the ring off the rose, holding it before her as an offer. She nodded; she could not manage to speak.  
  
Alaric slipped the ring onto Meredith's finger. It fit perfectly, and the two embraced, tears flowing freely.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Come on, Matt! Please? You promised!"  
  
Matt couldn't help but laugh. Bonnie looked adorable, tugging on his hand as though she alone had the strength to force him to move.  
  
"When did I promise we could go on the Ferris wheel?" he asked, trying to pry Bonnie's fingers off of his hand.  
  
"When we were waiting in line for the roller coaster. You said, and I _ quote _, 'Bonnie, if you go on this ride, I promise to go on any ride you want.' You said _ any _ ride, and I want to go on the Ferris wheel. _ Please? _" Bonnie put on her best pout, and Matt sighed.  
  
"All right, all right; you win. We can go. But only 'cause I'm a sucker for a cute druid," Matt mumbled.  
  
"That's _ droo _-id. Get it right."  
  
Matt paid their way onto the ride, and the two climbed on. Matt smiled at the sparkle in Bonnie's eyes as they started their way up to the top.  
  
"Look! Matt, look! I can see the parking lot! Wow! Look at the lights! It's so pretty up here, Matt, don't you think? Oh, wow!" Bonnie squealed in excitement.  
  
Matt glanced down, marveling at the view. Bonnie was right; it was pretty.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, the ride jerked slightly, causing Bonnie to squeak in fright.  
  
"What's going on, Matt? What happened?" Bonnie asked, her voice scared.  
  
1.1.1 "Um… I think we're stuck," Matt responded.  
  
"Oh no! Ugh, it figures!" Bonnie grabbed Matt's arm in a death grip, refusing to let go.  
  
"Bonnie, we'll be fine. But not if you cut off the circulation to my hand."  
  
Bonnie released him and mumbled her apology. Matt could tell she was scared, so he slipped his arm around her. Bonnie's cheeks flamed pink, but she just snuggled closer to Matt's chest.  
  
A few minutes later, the Ferris wheel began moving again. The two were more than reluctant to get off.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
1.1.2 End Chapter 4 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
… 5 years later …  
  
All humans, minus Alaric, are approx. 23  
  
Meredith grinned as she delicately unwrapped the bright pink paper from the gift. As she lifted the lid her smile got wider. Pulling the little purple outfit along with a pair of matching booties out she held them up for everyone at the baby shower to see.  
  
      "That was from _ me _!" cried Bonnie with a clap of her hands. Matt rolled his eyes.  
  
      "Thank you, Bonnie."  
  
      "Go on. Open the others!" Elena urged from where she sat next to Stefan at one of the tables.  
  
      Alaric handed her a smaller package wrapped up in yellow. She accepted it and tore it open, revealing a baby monitor. There was a small card attached to it. Inside it was signed by Matt who smiled.  
  
     "Thanks, Matt. This'll come in handy."  
  
      "No problem."  
  
      "Is it cake time yet?" Bonnie questioned.  
  
      Meredith nodded. "In a little bit."  
  
       Shortly, there was scattered tissue paper and gift wrapping. Baby toys and clothing were placed on a table. Meredith got up to get the cake, but due to her large belly, she had to be assisted by Alaric.  
  
      "Sit, I'll get it," he said.  
  
      "Woof," replied Meredith wryly. "Do I get a bone?"  
  
       "If you behave," Alaric answered, his hazel eyes warm as he looked at her. He left her to get the food.  
  
      Meredith wandered over to the table in the center of the room, taking a seat.        
  
      "You know, Meredith, that guy dotes on you or something," Bonnie said.  
  
      "Yeah. He's a good husband. Matt will be, too."  
  
       Bonnie admired the ring on her finger, the little diamond glinting in the light. She glanced at Meredith's ring, the larger stone surrounded by smaller ones sparkled. Bonnie didn't care though. She loved him and that's what mattered.  
  
      Alaric came out with the cake, layered in pastel pink icing with writing scrawled on the top.  
  
      "Looks good," commented Matt.  
  
      "Aw! Matt, look at Pooh! Isn't he cute?" squealed Bonnie and looked at Matt with large brown eyes.  
  
      "Yup," replied Matt, rather disinterested.  
  
      Alaric gave a slice to Bonnie and one to Matt. He gave two to Meredith and took a sliver for himself. Elena and Stefan just smiled.  
  
      "It was sweet of you to get me all that stuff," Meredith said, taking a bite of her cake. "Thank you."  
  
      "Well, you are the mother to be, and we had to get you _ something, _" Stefan told her.  
  
      Matt looked up from his cake. "Have you decided on a name?"  
  
       Meredith went to answer when there was a slam from the side door. Startled, everyone turned.  
  
      "Congratulations," someone said smoothly.  
  
      Stefan's eyes went wide, and Matt raised a brow as Damon walked in, looking faintly amused and holding a bottle of what appeared to be a bottle of fine Italian red wine. He wore black jeans, tight Ginny-t (muscle shirt) and boots. He wore his jacket and his hair was slightly tousled. "Surprise," Damon said, flashing a wolfish grin.  
  
      Bonnie moved over closer to Matt, latching onto his arm. Damon noticed the flash of the diamond and directed his attention to Matt. "So she _ is _ yours now."  
  
       Matt put a protective arm around her shoulders, his blue eyes dark.  
  
       Damon's eyes scanned the room, landing on his brother.  
  
      "Didn't expect to see you here," Stefan said.  
  
       "Well, it seems my invitation got lost in the mail." Damon didn't bother to sit, instead just calmly placed the bottle of wine on the table. He took a seat gracefully. All eyes were on him, but he didn't seem to mind.  
  
      "Well...uh..." Meredith was at loss for words to ease the feeling of discomfort in the room. She ran a hand through her long sweep of dark hair, the other hand rested on her round belly beneath the maternity dress she wore.  
  
      Elena cleared her throat. "What brings you here, Damon?"  
  
      He swung his dark eyes to her. "Didn't want to miss the party," he replied dryly.  
  
    Elena nodded her blonde head with a raise of one of her eyebrows. "I see..." She sighed. "It's been a while."  
  
    He shrugged. "I'm aware."  
  
    Stefan interrupted. "Do you need something? Are you in trouble?"  
  
   "_ Trouble? _" Damon spat the word like a curse. "Can't I just come without a reason? I wasn't aware I needed an appointment to see my dear brother and dear friends."  
  
   "It's been five years, Damon. It was just a bit of a surprise."  
  
   "Next time I'll call before I drop by," he replied vaguely irritated.  
  
   "Don't you two start," Matt cut in. "It's Meredith's baby shower for God's sake."  
  
    A look of guilt flushed over Stefan's face and Elena put a hand on his arm.  
  
    "I'm sorry, Meredith."  
  
    "It's all right. Don't worry."  
  
    "No, I shouldn't have—"  
  
    "Relax. Let's all just calm down," she said.  
  
   "She's right," agreed Alaric.  
  
    Bonnie nodded, curls bouncing. "Let's start fresh. As Matt said, Meredith, did you come up with a name yet?"  
  
  The tension eased a bit in the room as she answered, "Yes. We're planning on naming her Anya Faye Saltzman."  
  
    "Oh! That's so pretty!" exclaimed Bonnie.  
  
    "I think so, too," agreed Elena.  
  
  Everyone in the room seemed to be trying to forget Damon's unexpected arrival. He watched everyone with hooded eyes, with his usual look of disinterest. The bottle of forgotten wine sat in front of him.  
  
   After a few more moments, he stood.  
  
    "Where are you going?" Stefan inquired.  
  
    "Leaving," responded Damon bluntly.  
  
    "Where to?" Elena asked, turning from the conversation she'd been having.  
  
   "Someplace."  
  
   With that he turned and as everyone watched, walked away. His hand on the doorknob he turned and called back, "I'll be around."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Meredith touched the soft baby blanket draped over the side of the bassinet. It was a delicate, pastel pink, and the blanket itself was made of velvet. She gently rearranged the teddy bears and the stuffed animals. They were all so adorable. She sighed as she smoothed the pillow in the bassinet.  
  
"Hey, baby," she said, stroking her round stomach. "Mommy loves you."  
  
Arms wrapped around her waist from behind pulling her up against a firm chest. She sighed and looked up.  
  
"And Daddy loves Mommy," Alaric whispered softly, kissing Meredith's temple.  
  
She smiled. "I can't wait until I have her in my arms."  
  
       "Me either."  
  
       "Oh!" Meredith cried, "She kicked!"  
  
       Alaric grinned as she kicked again, and he felt it.  
  
"Feisty. Definitely not like her mother."  
  
"Very funny," Meredith mumbled, enjoying the odd twinge in her stomach as her unborn child squirmed about. "I just can't wait. Soon we're going to have a little baby in the house!"  
  
"Yes, screaming at all hours of the night, with dirty diapers…" Alaric trailed off, his nose wrinkling slightly.  
  
"Oh, you! You'll love her, just the same! Besides, I have a feeling that _ I _ will be doing all the late night jobs," Meredith laughed.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
       Elena walked out into the bright June sun. The light didn't bother her much thanks to her sunglasses. She was glad she'd worn a tank top and short; the heat was stifling. Her sandals clicked softly on the pavement of the walkway in front of her home.  
  
      Elena was lost in thoughts, so she jumped when someone spoke.  
  
      "_ Buon giorno, _" Damon said.  
  
       Elena turned to the sound of his voice and saw he stood merely a foot away.     
  
       "What are you doing here?" she questioned.  
  
       "Where's the husband?" he answered with a question of his own, pointedly ignoring hers.  
  
       "Off feeding." She raised an eyebrow, suspicion growing in her blue eyes. "Why?"  
  
       "No reason." He shrugged. "And you? Where were you off to?"  
  
       Even with her sunglasses she could see the sun reflecting the rainbows in his hair. "No where. Going for a walk," Elena replied and abruptly began walking again.  
  
       Damon began walking in step with her.  
  
       "Do you always follow people uninvited?"  
  
       "Only when I feel like it," he told her, flashing a quick grin.  
  
       "Uh huh, I see." Elena tilted her face up and studied the sky. Above her, the clouds begun to gather, darkening, and she knew it was not because of some mysterious source. She felt his Power radiating from him.  
  
            Elena turned her attention back to him, slowing her walking pace slightly. "Where have you been for the past five years?"  
  
       He lifted his sunglasses onto his head, black eyes meeting blue. "Around."  
  
       Elena shook her head. "What does it take to get a whole sentence from you? Or even a minor detail?"  
  
       "I answer how I like, when I like," he replied calmly.  
  
       They neared a small park. A pond sat still; ducks seemed to be the only other things present. Elena took a seat on the bench and after a moment Damon sat besides her. She felt a slight discomfort in her stomach at the wonder of what Stefan might think if he suddenly arrived.  
  
       "You're uncomfortable." He sensed her hesitation. "I'll leave if you like."  
  
       "Oh, it's not that..." Elena felt helpless. She didn't want to offend him.  
  
       "I'm not stupid, Elena."  
  
       She sighed. "Don't be mad."  
  
Damon's black eyes were focused on the pond. He seemed to be deep in thought, and Elena wasn't sure that he remembered where he was.  
  
Elena placed a hand on Damon's shoulder. "Damon?"  
  
He shrugged, shaking her hand off of him. He stood.  
  
       _ Arrividerci, _ he replied, using his mental voice. Before she could say anything, a crow was soaring away above her.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
End Chapter 5…  
  
Bwahahaha… ::clears throat:: Err… sorry. Um, what dya think? 


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
one month later…  
  
Flowers were everywhere, along with balloons. The room was small and the bed wasn't much comfort to Meredith, dark hair matted to her rosy cheeks with perspiration. Her eyes fluttered closed sleepily only to be forced open at the mention of her name.  
  
"Mrs. Saltzman?" a voice called.  
  
Her eyes opened, revealing a nurse by her bedside.  
  
"It's a girl," the nurse replied and smiled.  
  
Meredith held out her arms, outstretched wide to hold her newborn. The nurse placed the baby wrapped in a maternity blanket gently into her arms. A moment later the door to the room burst open and Alaric walked in, an expression of wonder on his face.  
  
"Meredith?" he asked. His eyes widened as she smiled at him, wearily but happily, her eyes flickered down towards the baby. "Oh my God!" he rushed over to her. He critically searched the baby's physical appearance.  
  
"Two eyes, a nose, and a mouth, Alaric," Meredith spoke, tiredness evident in her voice.  
  
Alaric looked slightly embarrassed but continued to check for ten fingers and ten toes on his baby.  
  
"All there?" asked Meredith.  
  
"Yup. Every one of 'em."  
  
The door opened again and in walked Matt along with Bonnie, Elena and Stefan.  
  
"A girl! Oh my God Matt she's precious!" Bonnie cried exuberantly.  
  
"Oh look how tiny she is!" Elena said. She went over to inspect.  
  
"Did you know there are ten fingers and toes?" Meredith asked her, with a pointed look towards her husband.  
  
Elena looked at her quizzically before laughing. "Yes, I did." Elena stroked the baby's cheek, touching the little fingers that had clung to her own.  
  
Stefan moved besides her and smiled briefly. "Congratulations, again. Do you need anything?" he asked.  
  
She shook her head. "Nothing besides a little sleep…and Mr. Neurotic here to leave the poor child alone."  
  
Alaric smiled sheepishly as he stopped poking the baby.  
  
"Checking for ribs?" questioned Matt.  
  
He snatched his hand away. "No…"  
  
"She's _ fine _, Alaric. Relax," Bonnie said in an attempt at reassuring the new father.  
  
"Want us to go?" asked Matt as he noticed Meredith's eyelids drooping.  
  
"If you don't mind."  
  
"All right. We'll be back later," called Bonnie from the doorway.  
  
Alaric sat down in a chair by the bed, holding onto his wife's free hand. Stefan glanced at Elena who nodded.  
  
"We'll get going, too," Elena told her friend. She patted Meredith's shoulder. Stefan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her away.  
  
Meredith proceeded to fall asleep, her baby in her arms.  
  
Elena sat in the same park she'd been to about a week before, on the same bench, watching Meredith's baby sleep in the stroller in front of her. Tears escaped her eyes, slowly rolling down her cheeks, slipping to the ground. She didn't bother to brush them away; no one was there anyway.  
  
       The sun beat down on her back. Elena stifled a cry with the back of her hand.  
  
       "Why are you crying?" a voice asked softly from behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up with her tearstained face. She bowed her head when she saw it was Damon, caught between indignity and the pain for which she was crying.  
  
He took a seat next to her. "Tell me."  
  
She raised her head and stared at him. His black eyes scanned her face, studying her. For a moment neither spoke and tears continued streaking her pale cheeks, wisps of hair sticking to her face.  
  
        He raised a hand towards her face, lightly pushing the hair off her face, at the same time wiping a few tears away. Elena shook her head ruefully.  
  
       "The baby….I didn't want Stefan to see me so I took her here myself...."  
  
       Briefly, Damon looked puzzled. Then he seemed to understand. His gaze drifted to the sleeping form in the carriage and then back to her.  
  
       "It's because you can't have your own, isn't it?" he said, more of a statement than a question.  
  
       She nodded and a slight sob escaped her lips. Elena lowered her eyes again.  
  
       "Look at me, Elena."  
  
       She shook her head.  
  
       "Elena. Look at me," he told her sternly and when she would not he took her chin in his hands and picked her face up to meet his.  
  
       She looked at him for a second and then moved out of his grasp. "It's not fair!" she cried vehemently, blue eyes flashing.  
  
      "Who ever said life was fair, Elena? It is what it is." Damon eyes held challenge.  
  
       "You don't understand!" she retorted angrily.  
  
       "I do," he said.  
  
       Her blue eyes were pained yet heated with anger as she looked at him skeptically. Though her tears had slowed, they had not ceased.  
  
       "I know pain, Elena. I've caused it and I've lived it." His eyes darkened. "But I also know you're stronger than this."  
  
"And if I'm not?! I'm so sick of having to be the one who's understanding and in control. It's always me being strong for everyone else. I know that I brought this on myself by asking to be a vampire, but no one seems to realize that I didn't do this for myself! I just want to be held… to feel safe…" Elena's voice trailed off, and her words subsided to silent sobs.      
  
She stayed just as she was for a long time. She wasn't crying anymore, but it seemed to Damon that the very life had escaped her, and the fire inside — the fire that had rivaled his own — had almost faded.  
  
     "It's okay to be scared, Elena. It's okay. You don't always have to be strong."  
  
        He lightly pushed her back from him but did not remove his hold. His dark eyes were intent on her face. He touched her, his palm against the side of her face, and she looked up at him with red rimmed eyes.  
  
His own eyes were on her lips.  
  
She reached up suddenly, but gently and clasped his face between her hands as she held him at length.  
  
"Don't," she said lowly, the blue in her eyes intense and bright with emotions.  
  
He stiffened and then stepped out of her grasp. Straightening himself, his black eyes flashed. Then, he sighed, and his face seemed to change as though he'd been waging some inner conflict but had finally come to a decision. He placed two hands on her shoulders.  
  
"Others can be strong for you as well. _ Stefan _ can be strong for you. You just can't let this bring you down."    
  
Damon released her, stepping back.  
  
Elena's eyes showed her surprise, and Damon turned to look at the pond. He knew why she was shocked. Damon glanced back and saw the look of realization on Elena's face.  
  
Perhaps she had realized that he'd given up on winning her over. Perhaps she'd realized that all his disappearances had been for both her and himself; that he'd gone away to get over her and give her and Stefan time together. Perhaps she'd finally understood that he was ready to admit defeat; to admit that she had chosen Stefan over him, and that he was ready to be friends; nothing more, nothing less.  
  
Elena put her fist to her lips as she looked at Damon with a touch of sadness in her blue eyes. "Damon," she said, and wrapped her arms around him in a gentle hug. "I'm sorry."  
  
He stepped out from her embrace, his eyes darkening. Elena cast her eyes away as his expression changed. She looked toward the baby stroller, where Anya still lay sleeping peacefully.  
  
There was still pain as she watched the infant's small chest rise and fall with every breath, but it had lessened, and for that Damon was glad.  
  
"I need to get going...Stefan's waiting," she told him quietly.  
  
   He nodded. With a last brief glance at her, he turned and walked away.  
  
End Chapter 6 


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
One Month Later  
  
"I _ hate _ closing!"  
  
Bonnie pushed the door open, a gust of cold air tossing her curls behind her. She locked the Employee entrance to Nordstrom's, grateful that she was going home.  
  
Bonnie began walking towards her car, pulling her coat tighter, wishing she'd worn a heavier jacket.  
  
All of a sudden, a hand clamped down over her mouth. Bonnie jumped, and her heart skipped a beat as she was thrown down to the ground. She looked up, frantically, trying to get a glimpse of whoever it was. It was no use; it was far too dark. All she could see was a silhouette.  
  
She was breathing hard through her nose, the hand still over her mouth so hard her lips dug into her teeth.  
  
"No," she whimpered as he finally removed his hand from her mouth. She was too scared to scream; she could barely form a coherent word.  
  
She felt a hand slide her long skirt up her legs. Bonnie tried to move but found herself seemingly paralyzed.  
  
Tears slid down Bonnie's cheeks as she felt the man remove her underwear. "Oh God. Please… please, no… _ please… _"  
  
Her pleas were of no use; that was apparent from the sound of a belt unbuckling and pants being taken off.  
  
The body on top of her was heavy and fingertips pressed into the skin of her arms. Bonnie's back arched as something tore inside her. She sobbed as she felt blood trickling between her legs. "Please…" she whispered, but she herself could barely hear it.  
  
Bonnie wanted to do something, _ anything _ to save herself, but her muscles would not move.  
  
Suddenly, she felt dizzy and the only thing she knew for sure was that the searing pain was real and that this man was hurting her. The pain was too much, and she felt the scream that wanted to tear from her throat. But try as she might, she could not release it.  
  
Bonnie could feel him shudder, and she could hear his groans along with her useless whimpers. The gravel from the pavement was rough against her skin. And still, the only thing her hysterical mind could comprehend was that this wasn't Matt and he was hurting her and hurting her and it wasn't stopping.  
  
But suddenly, it did. She felt him slip off of her and heard as he put on his clothes. The sound of feet pounding against the pavement echoed painfully in her mind.  
  
Black spots danced across Bonnie's vision, and she felt the world spin.  
  
"Matt…"  
  
And then she blacked out.  
  
End Chapter 7 


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Bonnie could not remember how she ended up in her house. She could not remember driving home, but she must have; her car was in the garage.  
  
Unfortunately, she could remember everything else that transpired in the parking lot. She could see it again, in vivid color, over and over and over.  
  
She lay there in her bed, sobbing and trembling violently.  
  
She felt sore. She felt scared.  
  
She felt _ dirty _.  
  
Bonnie threw herself off the bed and stripped herself. She ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She set the heat for 85˚. The steam billowed into the room, fogging the windows and mirror.  
  
Bonnie stepped in the shower, the hot water beating down on her skin. She tried hard to ignore the red tint of the water as it entered the drain, but she could not ignore the fact that it came from her.  
  
She grabbed the soap and began scrubbing. She dropped the bar numerous times due to her shuddering. She scrubbed extremely hard over the many bruises on her legs and arms. She wished to God she could wash away what had happened.  
  
Long after the hot water had turned cold and her skin was no longer red, Bonnie stepped out of the shower. Wrapping herself in a warm towel, though inside she still felt cold, she opened the bathroom door.  
  
She let the towel drop to the floor as she stood in front of her mirror. She didn't recognize the girl she saw. Something was wrong, something was missing. Her eyes were dark, her face was drawn.  
  
Sinking to the floor, she curled herself up into a ball, clutching her knees to her chest. She shut her eyes, but the tears still slipped down. Relentlessly, the images flashed before her closed eyes, and she couldn't make them stop.  
  
Suddenly, an image of Matt entered her mind and she whispered, "Matt… Forgive me."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
End Chapter 8 


	10. Chapter 9

"Pass the popcorn," said Meredith from her spot on Elena's sofa.  
  
Bonnie was the closest to the bowl which sat on the end table, but she didn't move to get it. Assuming she was too into the movie, Stefan reached across to get it, his arm brushing hers.   
  
She jumped.  
  
Handing Elena the popcorn to give to Meredith he looked at Bonnie. Her face flushed.  
  
"Sorry, I guess I was startled," she told him apologetically, but she looked away. He nodded, sitting back into the sofa, draping an arm around Elena. She snuggled closer.   
  
Alaric walked in from the kitchen. "That stuff you've got in the kitchen looks amazing!"  
  
"It's Death By Chocolate," Elena told him. "Anybody craving something sweet?"   
  
She stood and went to get the dessert.  
  
When she came back in, Matt carrying the paper plates and forks, she set it down on the glass coffee table.   
  
"Dig in," said Matt.   
  
Everyone grappled to get the largest slice, except Stefan. Even Elena got a slice and was about to eat when she noticed Bonnie didn't have any.  
  
"Aren't you going to have any, Bonnie? It's your favorite."   
  
Bonnie looked up. "I'm not hungry," she mumbled.   
  
Elena and Meredith exchanged shocked looks. "But there's always room for _chocolate_," they replied in unison.  
  
Their friend shrugged. "I'll pass."   
  
Matt took a seat next to her, waving his fork with a chunk of the chocolate cake.   
  
"C' mon..." He continued to tease her.  
  
She shook her head. "Honest, Matt. I'm just not hungry."   
  
His blue eyes remained on her for a moment, before eating what was on his fork.   
  
"More for me then," he joked.  
  
But the smile she returned seemed forced. Bonnie got up.   
  
"I'm not feeling too well," she told everyone. "I think I'm going to go home."  
  
Matt went to get up as well. "Want me to drive you home?"  
  
She shook her head, curls bouncing. "No, I'm fine. I feel like going to bed early."  
  
They kissed lightly.   
  
"Feel better, " he told her.  
  
"Thanks," she said quietly and for a moment gazed into the clear blue eyes, lifting a finger to touch one of his cheeks.   
  
She pulled away suddenly and to the rest she said, "Goodbye." 


	11. Chapter 10

Bonnie threw herself onto her bed, tears streaming from her eyes like a constant river.  
  
What had she done to deserve this? Surely it was her fault. Bad things don't happen for no reason. Why had this happened to her?   
  
Bonnie dragged in a ragged breath, trying to calm herself. The stream of salt water seemed never ending, and they hurt, like adding salt to a wound. For a moment she couldn't breathe, her sobs echoing through the otherwise silent apartment. She could feel her pulse throughout her body, fast and strong, making her head throb.  
  
She slowly forced herself to get up; she needed to make the pain stop. Her head was pounding, and she couldn't see straight. She moaned as she grasped the knob of the bathroom door, turning it weakly.  
  
She reached for the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet. She paused, studying her reflection.   
  
A girl stared back at her; a frightened, weak little girl. Her eyes were blood-shot and glazed, covered by a layer of tears. Her skin was pale, streaks of water slipping down her cheeks. Her curls were a mess, untidily pulled into a ponytail. She looked scared; but more than that, she looked hurt.   
  
Bonnie wrenched the cabinet door open, her eyes scanning for a bottle of Advil. When she found it, she grabbed it with a shaky hand, causing two other bottles to fall into the sink. She didn't bother to put them back.  
  
Bonnie struggled for a moment to open the bottle before popping two pills into her mouth and swallowing them dry.   
  
She walked into the bedroom, carrying the open bottle with her. She sat down at her desk, placing the bottle down. She looked over her pink stationary, sprinkled with hearts. How could she have ever been so innocent?  
  
Bonnie sat there a few moments, contemplating the blue pen that lay on the side of the desk. Her head ached; why wasn't the Advil working?!  
  
She swallowed another two pills before grabbing the pen.   
  
As Bonnie scribbled her thoughts, she took three more pills. She sealed the note in an envelope. She stood, suddenly remembering something. She got it from the kitchen table, placing it and the envelope on one of the pillows on the bed.   
  
The pain in her head hadn't dulled at all. "Why is this happening?!" she screamed. She needed more Advil.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Thanks for coming, Matt," Elena told him as she walked him to the front door.  
  
"No problem. I think I m going to check on Bonnie before I go home."  
  
She nodded. "Tell her I hope she feels better."  
  
"Sure thing. Bye."   
  
Elena shut the door, moving back down the hall and into the now empty living room where she began to pick up pieces of spilled popcorn from the wooden floor. Stefan came in, taking the empty bowl from her hands.  
  
"Matt left?"  
  
"Yeah. Went to check on Bonnie."  
  
Nodding, he went to put the bowl in the sink. She followed him into the kitchen.  
  
"I hope she feels better soon," she replied.  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Matt knocked on the door.  
  
"Bonnie? Open up, it's me."  
  
There was no reply. He knocked again.   
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
Again no answer.  
  
He fumbled in his pocket for the spare key to her apartment. He unlocked the door, poking his head through. Maybe she was asleep.   
  
He quietly shut the door behind him. Walking to her room, he saw in the light cast from the bathroom a small form in the bed. So she was asleep.   
  
Not wanting to wake her, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Red curls spilled on a white pillow, her small form lying haphazardly on top of the blanket.   
  
His gaze wandered over to the left and he tilted his head. In the dim light he could see something on the pillow next to her. Reaching over, his fingers brushed paper and something velvety soft; something like the petals of a rose.   
  
_Now what the...._  
  
He stood and cautiously moved to the other side of the bed.   
  
He picked up the envelope, hands shaking he turned on the lamp by the bed. A rose was lying on the pillow. One of the roses he'd given Bonnie the other day.   
  
The envelope trembled in his hands as he tore it open, and he swallowed. 


	12. Chapter 11

To whom it may concern,  
  
If you are reading this, then I am probably dead. I know now that I never could have survived this, and I am sorry if I have hurt you. I tried, God knows I did, but the pain was too much for me. I know that you may never understand, but I will try to help.  
  
Earlier this month, I was closing up at work. I've always hated that. It creeps me out to be alone there at night. I was walking to my car, and someone attacked me. I know it was a man. He...he...oh God, I can't even say it. He _ hurt _ me. He hurt me over and over again. I couldn't move. I tried but I couldn't. I just lay there while he hurt me.  
  
I don't understand why this happened to me, but I must have done something awful. Why would this happen unless it was my fault? Elena, Meredith, Alaric, Stefan, and Damon: I'm sorry.  
  
I know you must be hurting, but this was my only choice. The pain was too much. I could see it over and over whenever I closed my eyes. I even dreamed it. It's been too hard; I've never been the strong one. I just wish I could have spared you pain. I love you all. Even you, Damon. You've all been the best friends I could ever hope to have, and I pray that one day you will forgive me. Take care of each other, and Matt.   
  
Matt: How am I going to say this? You were always there for me. You always let me win, even if it wasn't what you wanted. I love you. God, I love you so much. I'm so sorry for hurting you and betraying you. I wanted you to be my first. I wanted us to be together for the first time on our wedding night. I'm so sorry, Matt. I will _ always _ love you, no matter what.  
  
Never, _ ever _ forget that. Remember me fondly. I love you all.  
  
~Bonnie McCullough   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The telephone rang loudly, interrupting Stefan's kisses. Elena sighed, getting up to silence the phone.   
  
When she looked at the caller id and saw that it was Bonnie, she answered.  
  
"Hello?" she asked.  
  
Maybe Bonnie needed something.  
  
"E-elena?"  
  
"Matt?" she inquired. "What's wrong? Are you crying?"  
  
"Elena, sh-she... B-Bonnie is....she's... oh God, Elena, Bonnie's dead!"  
  
"What? Matt, what happened? What do you mean she's dead?" Elena demanded.  
  
But all that answered back was the sound of Matt sobbing. 


	13. Chapter 12

"We are gathered here today..."   
  
The reverend's words sounded drowned out and far away to Meredith. She couldn't concentrate on what was taking place. Glancing to her right, Matt sat hunched, his face drawn and eye's red rimmed; a deep contrast to his pallor. This seemed even worse than how he'd looked when Elena died.   
  
She felt a hand clasp hers and turned to see Alaric. Meredith didn't speak or force a smile, instead her eyes wandered again.   
  
She spotted the McCullough family in the swarm of Fells Church residents. Her own family was here as well. Even Caroline was among the crowd. She wasn't quite sure where Stefan was, but she knew he was here. Aunt Judith, along with Robert were in the back; Margaret was nowhere in sight. She sensed Elena's presence, though she could not see her.   
  
A dark head caught her attention, and Meredith recognized it as Damon's.   
  
_He showed up?_   
  
Before any further thoughts could process, people were rising to walk to the casket. One by one, the pews were emptying from the back, up. Finally, their row was to stand.   
  
Meredith took a shaky breath and walked towards the coffin.  
  
Meredith began to sob as she looked upon Bonnie's face. Her skin was pale, more so than usual. Her hair was curled softly, the long red spirals lying gently on the white satin pillow. Her hands were clasped together over her chest, holding a single, white rose. The light bounced off the diamond of her engagement ring, and Meredith could look no longer.   
  
Alaric held her to him, his arms wrapped around her protectively.   
  
"She always said she was going to be young and beautiful in her coffin," Meredith reminded Alaric, whimpering quietly. "I suppose her grandmother was right."   
  
Meredith watched silently as Matt approached the casket. Her heart broke as she saw his face as he looked down at Bonnie. He reached his trembling hand out towards her, gently stroking her cheek, grabbing hold of a single curl.   
  
Meredith wanted to go to Matt as he slid down to the floor, but Alaric held her strongly.   
  
Matt's broken sobs echoed throughout the church, catching the attention of all present. Everyone remained absolutely stricken as he stood up. Matt leaned down, kissing Bonnie's cold lips for the very last time. He whispered "I love you" into her ear and turned away.   
  
As he passed, Meredith placed a hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away, walking down the aisle of pews alone. 


	14. Chapter 13

Elena walked silently towards her family gravestone, watching the figure who sat upon the grass. The young girl's long golden hair blew in the wind, swiping the clear blue sky. Elena swallowed the lump in her throat and moved closer.   
  
Margaret's blue eyes were transfixed upon the Gilbert headstone, and she ran a finger over the engraved name, just as Elena had 5 years ago. Elena was amazed at how similar her sister looked like herself, smiling at the memory of the 5-year-old girl with pigtails.   
  
But that little girl wasn't before her. It was a 10-year-old, dressed all in black, that was with her in the graveyard. Elena could see the change that had occurred in her sister over the years, and she suddenly felt guilty. Margaret believed that Elena was dead, and that must have hurt deeply.   
  
Suddenly, Margaret spoke. "It's not fair," she said, looking at the stone that read "Elena Gilbert."   
  
Margaret hugged herself against the wind, and repeated, "It's not fair! Everyone I love goes away. Everyone leaves me. This town is cursed! Everyone born here will die!"   
  
Margaret cried openly. "You were the light this town needed. Everyone loved you. You made things better; you scared away the darkness. Where are you now, Elena? Why did you leave?"   
  
Elena felt the tears she'd held back for so long break free, dripping down her cheeks.   
  
"I didn't want to, Margaret. I had no choice."   
  
Her sister whirled around, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. "Elena? Are you real?"  
  
Elena nodded, trying to once again swallow the knot in her throat. "Yes, baby."   
  
Margaret flung herself into her sister's arms. The two of them sobbed loudly, seeking comfort in their strong embrace.   
  
"I thought you were dead. Everyone said you were gone, that you were in Heaven. That I had to move on. But I remembered. You came back. You were in my room. I don't care what you say, Elena. You were an angel that night, and you're an angel now. Why did you go away?"   
  
Elena looked into her sister's deep blue eyes, and suddenly, she wanted to tell Margaret the truth. The girl had lost her parents and suddenly her sister, and she never understood why. Perhaps she was old enough now...   
  
"Margaret, I did die. They buried me right here, and I was dead. I never went to Heaven, sweetie; I never saw Mom and Dad. I don't know where I was. But wherever I was, for some reason, I came back. I came back to life, sweetie, but I couldn't come back here. Everyone thought I was dead; they'd seen my body. They wouldn't believe it if I told them that I was real. So I had to go away."   
  
"But you weren't buried when you were in my room; that was later. Why couldn't you have come home then?" Margaret asked, her eyes demanding answers.  
  
Elena couldn't tell Margaret that she'd been a vampire; she refused to allow her sister to think of her as a monster.   
  
"I can't tell you, baby. You wouldn't understand. It's very complicated. Just know that I would tell you, but it's just too complicated."   
  
Margaret nodded. "What now, Elena?"   
  
"I don't know, sweetheart. I can't stay in Fell's Church," Elena said.   
  
"I'll come with you!" Margaret cried.   
  
"No! Sweetie, you can't."   
  
Margaret started to cry. "Why not?"   
  
"Because, you're needed here. Baby, Aunt Judith and Robert need you. You're still little; you need to stay here and grow up," Elena explained.   
  
"But I want to be with you! You're my sister! I miss you!"   
  
Elena held Margaret as she cried harder, trying to soothe her little sister.   
  
"Margaret, I promise; we'll see each other again some day. I give you my word. I'll come visit, wherever you are. It doesn't matter if you move; I'll find you. But I _can't_ stay."   
  
Margaret nodded.   
  
"Where will you go?" Margaret asked.   
  
"Margaret? Who are you talking to?" Aunt Judith's voice called. Margaret turned to see her aunt, looking down at her.  
  
"Elena," she said, turning to point to her sister. But Elena was gone.   
  
_Don't tell anyone about my visit, Margaret. I promise we'll meet again. _   
  
Margaret hastily pointed to her sister's gravestone and added, "I was talking to Elena. I hope she hears me." 


	15. Chapter 14

Meredith let out a breath. It was over, finally.   
  
People started to head for the double doors and out into the parking lot. Aunt Judith had walked back in a little while before, along with a flushed faced Margaret. Meredith could see them talking to the McCullough's.  
  
She was headed for the aisle when she heard Stefan.   
  
"Damon, wait!"   
  
She paused to watch as Damon stopped walking and turned to Stefan. He raised his eyebrows and waited but he was interrupted as a startled Aunt Judith turned from her conversation.   
  
"You two know each other?" she asked.   
  
Damon glanced towards her. "He's my brother."   
  
Meredith did a double take, and shocked, she realized what Damon had openly admitted.   
  
"But I thought your name was Smith," Judith added, looking flustered as usual.   
  
"I lied."   
  
Stefan was looking at his brother with an expression that revealed his shock.   
  
Damon brushed his way past a still flustered Aunt Judith and was out the door before anybody had moved.   
  
Stefan rushed to meet up with him. Once outside, he spoke. "Where are you going?"   
  
"Somewhere. Anywhere. Out of this town."  
  
"For good?"   
  
"I suppose it'd make you happy, wouldn't it? The perfect ending to a perfect fairytale."   
  
"That's not how I meant it," Stefan snapped defensively.  
  
Before he spoke, there was a shimmer in the air as Elena appeared.   
  
"What's going on? You're not leaving are you?" she asked.   
  
"As a matter of a fact, I am," he told her as he turned to face her.   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Because I grow tired of all of this. There's plenty of things I could be doing right now, things that appeal to me more than this," he replied, gesturing to the church.   
  
"Why now? We need each other now, of all times," Elena asked, her voice pleading.   
  
"Because. What good would it be for me to stick around? Me staying won't bring her back, Elena. We all know that. I prefer to spend my time productively."   
  
"Stop acting like you don't care! Like you don't give a damn! Drop the façade, Salvatore, before I make you drop it! Bonnie was your friend, too, so don't act as though it doesn't hurt knowing she's gone!" Elena hissed.   
  
Damon stepped closer, using his aura to intimidate her. "You're right, Elena. She was my friend. But I've been surrounded by death for centuries, and I've learned that the quicker you move on, the less the pain. I'm moving on. I suggest you do the same."   
  
"Where? Where are you going?" She whispered, defeated.   
  
"It doesn't matter. Somewhere far from this damn town," he responded, glancing around in disgust.   
  
"What if we need you?" Elena asked.   
  
"You don't need me anymore. This departure is long overdue, Elena, and we all know it. I've made my peace with the past, and I look to the future. It's time to say goodbye."   
  
Damon leaned down and kissed her forehead gently and she gave him a disheartened smile. He turned to his brother and nodded, never the one to display his feelings for his sibling.   
  
But slowly, Stefan reached out a hand and surprisingly, Damon shook it. And then, as Elena watched, Stefan pulled his brother into a hug and it seemed for a moment, the two had put past issues aside. But suddenly, the moment was gone and Elena blinked, slightly startled, and Damon and Stefan were apart.  
  
It was enough, though, that for that instant they'd been able to put the past behind them and see eachother as brothers, not enemies.   
  
"Arrividerci."   
  
There was a flutter of wings as a single crow flew up towards the sky and disappeared from sight. 


End file.
